if you drop 40 i’m procreating with a random stripper on the street so i can name the child Josh-Allen Diller
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nicodr0007• 5 d ago
Josh Allen is not a quarterback. Josh Allen is an economic event.
When Josh Allen wakes up in Buffalo, three things happen simultaneously: the sun rises, Lake Erie changes direction, and approximately 14 defensive coordinators begin reconsidering their career choices.
People say football is a team sport. Interesting theory. Unfortunately, Josh Allen has apparently not been informed.
You can put 11 men in front of him. Josh Allen sees 11 obstacles and immediately calculates the shortest route to their emotional destruction.
You can blitz him. He will throw the ball.
You can drop eight into coverage. He will run the ball.
You can spy him. He will throw the ball while running away from the spy.
You can double his favorite receiver. He will find someone else.
You can triple-cover everyone. He will apparently invent a new receiver.
Josh Allen does not scramble. He simply temporarily relocates the pocket.
His arm strength is so unreasonable that throwing a football 40 yards downfield is considered a routine administrative task. If Josh Allen throws a football into Lake Ontario, there is a non-zero chance it lands in Toronto with a completed-pass designation.
His legs are equally confusing. At some point, someone decided that a 6’5”, 240-pound quarterback should also move like a man who has just discovered he left the oven on.
And the most frightening part?
Josh Allen is still learning.
That is correct.
This is not the final form.
Somewhere in Buffalo, Josh Allen is currently watching film, drinking water, and discovering a new way to make a defensive back question the fundamental assumptions upon which his entire existence was constructed.
You cannot simply “stop Josh Allen.”
You can only hope to participate in the Josh Allen experience.
And when the game ends, the box score will say something like:
Josh Allen — 27/34, 347 yards, 3 TD, 1 rushing TD, 68 rushing yards.
And some guy on Reddit will still say:
“Yeah but honestly I think he had a pretty average game.”
That guy should be investigated.
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etym• 5 d ago
Oh to be hurdled by Josh Allen and his nuts graze my forehead
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Aaronishim2• 5 d ago
Don’t hand the ball to cook nigga
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Sleddd• 4 d ago
QB1 and RB1 :)
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JNEFF891• 5 d ago
“He’s not worth a 3rd round pick”🤡🤡🤡🤡
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siahthekidd• 5 d ago
Allen 👍 Hurts ❤️
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TurntItDown2GrindRap• 6 d ago
Drop 40 I'm doing flips on it
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MorningChubbbs• 5 d ago
I got you at the 2.10 and they laughed at me. Prove them wrong Joshua
SleeperBot• 4 d ago
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