Keon Coleman - Could miss time beyond Week 10

It’s so over

So let me put him in my IR slot, wtf

Okay you’re dropped

Just picked you up this past week and now this bum

Cloudy with a Chance of Touchdowns Keon Coleman always had big dreams. Growing up in a small town where the sky was perpetually gray and opportunities felt just out of reach, Keon’s imagination was his escape. When he wasn’t running routes on the football field, he spent his time tinkering in his makeshift lab, designing contraptions that often failed but occasionally worked. His mother used to tell him, “Keon, when life gives you lemons, turn them into lemonade.” Keon took that advice literally, inventing a machine that turned sour fruit into sweet drinks at the push of a button. It wasn’t perfect—it sometimes sprayed lemonade everywhere—but it gave him hope that his big ideas could change the world. Little did he know, his next invention would do just that. --- ### **The FLDSMZFT** One rainy afternoon, frustrated by the endless gray skies and uninspired cafeteria food at his college, Keon had a breakthrough. What if, instead of letting the weather bring people down, he could make it… delicious? Using spare parts from an old grill, his football team’s broken Gatorade dispenser, and a toaster, Keon created the *Food Lightning Device That Makes Zesty Flavorful Thunderstorms*—or FLDSMZFT for short. The machine could manipulate weather patterns to produce edible rain. Burgers? Pancakes? Tacos? Anything was possible. Keon’s teammates, skeptical but curious, gathered around as he aimed the FLDSMZFT toward the sky and pressed the button. At first, nothing happened. Then, with a crackle of electricity, the clouds above shifted. Moments later, it began to rain… cheeseburgers. The team erupted in cheers, grabbing patties as they fell. “Keon, you’re a genius!” one of them shouted, mouth full of burger. --- ### **Fame and Fortune** News of Keon’s invention spread like wildfire. His small town became a hub of excitement, with people traveling from miles away to witness the miraculous food storms. Keon became a celebrity overnight, juggling interviews, invention demonstrations, and football practice. With every success, the storms became more elaborate. Pancake snowflakes fell during morning games, spaghetti tornadoes twirled during pep rallies, and nacho cheese showers rained over tailgate parties. But with fame came pressure. The mayor of the town, an ambitious former coach named Coach Weatherbee, pushed Keon to ramp up production. “The FLDSMZFT is the best thing to happen to this town,” Weatherbee insisted. “Imagine a Super Bowl Sunday with actual chicken wing hail! Keep it running!” Keon hesitated but eventually agreed, eager to please. --- ### **A Recipe for Disaster** As the FLDSMZFT continued to operate nonstop, Keon began to notice glitches. A sudden hailstorm of oversized meatballs crushed the scoreboard at the football field. A tidal wave of spaghetti flooded Main Street, tangling cars and people alike. “I think the machine is overloading,” Keon told his best friend and star running back, Marcus. Marcus raised an eyebrow. “So… shut it down?” Keon hesitated. “I can’t. The whole town is counting on me. What if I can fix it?” But before he could try, the FLDSMZFT took on a mind of its own. The machine shot into the sky, embedding itself in the clouds and creating an unending storm of gigantic food. Enormous slices of pizza and watermelon-sized popcorn kernels rained down, causing chaos. --- ### **The Big Game Plan** With the town in disarray, Keon realized he had to step up—not just as an inventor but as a leader. “Alright, team,” he said, gathering his football squad. “We’ve faced tough opponents before. This is just another game plan.” Using their athleticism and teamwork, the players dodged flying bacon strips and rolling oranges while Keon devised a strategy to disable the FLDSMZFT. The plan? Keon would launch himself into the storm using a makeshift catapult, climb into the machine, and shut it down manually. “You’re crazy, man,” Marcus said, clapping him on the shoulder. “Crazy enough to win,” Keon replied with a grin. --- ### **The Final Play** The catapult launched Keon into the heart of the storm. Dodging massive pancakes and molten rivers of nacho cheese, he clung to the FLDSMZFT and pried open its control panel. Inside, the wires were tangled, sparking wildly. As the machine whirred dangerously, Keon realized the only way to stop it was to reprogram it—using his football knowledge. He rewired the system to mimic a playbook, inputting defensive strategies to "block" the food storms. With seconds to spare, Keon slammed the final button. The machine powered down, the clouds parted, and sunlight broke through for the first time in weeks. --- ### **A Hero’s Feast** The town erupted in celebration. Keon, covered in syrup and spaghetti sauce, was hoisted onto his teammates’ shoulders. Coach Weatherbee declared, “Keon Coleman, you’re not just a football star—you’re a hero!” Keon grinned. “I guess you could say I… served up a win.” As the townspeople cleaned up the delicious mess, Keon reflected on his journey. He had learned that greatness wasn’t just about touchdowns or fame—it was about using your gifts to make a difference, even when the stakes seemed insurmountable. And while he vowed never to create a food-based weather machine again, Keon couldn’t help but smile as he bit into a burger, knowing his wildest dream had come true.

Seeing he's ruled out, can I move him to my IR spot this week?

@3fingerbandit your gift for writing goes beyond words. The warmth I feel as I read your story are the same I feel on springs first bright day. The nostalgia I feel is akin to the last leaf that blows away on falls final day. You are the voice of our generation. Thank you for bringing romance back into the world.